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| Tonight was parent night at Penta. I didn't think we were going to ever get there since dad was talking to my uncle for a long time. But we did make it, and it went really good. It's wierd being able to talk to your teachers one on one, without the distraction of 20 other students. Your point of view changes. Anyways..I'm pretty bored, everyone is in bed and I'm sitting up. I studied all the bones that are in the human body, so yea..I'm ready for this big test lol. I'm glad it's my senior year. I'm going to be off to college and start my life. I can't explain how excited I am. It's so wierd because my friends were talking about the "party life" well I mean shit...I done partied all I want to. After so long, waking up to not remembering anything and not feeling to hot gets a lil old and childish. It's good for laughs later but after so long it just old, an that when the addictions start happening and people don't want to hang out with ya anymore because you got a problem. So why not just aviod it all lol. Sounds good to me lol. Don't get me wrong, I like to chill with my friends and have a good time, but not all the time..there times when you can and others when you have to restrict it and cut down and work. Work Hard Now, Party Later-that's the way to be right there. So it's been almost a week since I've seen Shannon, and I miss her don't get me wrong but it's like it's ok that it has been that long. What I mean is I trust her, I feel the reason I had a problem with missing so many people before is the fact that I didn't trust them, and had to feel like I had to be with them to make sure it was all good. It's wierd how I just thought about it but I mean..think about it....ok..have you pondered it..ok lol make sense? Does to me. I miss her though alot, but I'm not obsessing/stressing over it. She great though, she always make me smile, when she grabs ahold of my hand or when she comes up behind me and puts her arms around me. I care for her and love her, and no way I would hurt her. You can put that in stone lol, that how for real I am about that lol. Yup..so I'm tired, so with that in mind I'm going to get off of here and go up to bed. So I'ma leave it with saying that: I love you Shannon -Peace | | |
| Guess who's back  lol, well I'm bored so I decided to get on here. Unless I get distracted and then probablly then won't finish this . God knows how many times I go to write in here then get off track and just forget to finish it and close out of it. BUT anyways...I'm so happy , somthing about Shannon gets me all excited. I wish I never did stop talking to her but yet I'm glad because even through this summer when I was with Sam and our break up..it was still there for Shannon. Which is a good thing...kinda like we just picked things up and kept going. Shannon has an amazing family from the ones I've met. I don't know what they think of me, but I think they all great lol. Esp. her sis Tiff...damn that girl is to funny. There no way on earth I can keep a straight face around her . I hope she don't worry about me not being real with her, there no way on earth I would mess this up with her, Shannon a great person and I'm really happy that I'm with her. So my sister had this guy name Adam come over to the house to like chill or whatever...OMG he's a cutie..I so approve..and I have never approved of anyone for her! I won't forget that hug that Shannon and I shared that first night that we saw each other for the first time since like June. We were outside, just finished reading a letter that was addressed to me, and she and I hugged for like 15 mins it seemed. I loved every sec. of it. Sorry if I'm jumping from one subject to another, just writting as it comes to mind. My friend Home Tator (Rachel) is having problems with the man again. I really want her to be happy and enjoy a relationship. Everytime I talk to her she upset and I hate that. So I'm going to find her a man..lol hopfully soon. O by the way Shannons cousin is a pimp....And I'ma leave it at that. -Peace | | |
| Everything latley has been going great. My sister and I don't fight to much anymore which is good, alot less stress. I can say that I'm over my past relationship and have moved on to a new one, to someone who I should of never stopped talking to, who in which is Shannon. School is back on track from my extended abstances, and I'm not sick anymore. So I'm going to try to fill in what has happened from the 14th til now. I got caught back up in school, and yea I'm pretty damn happy about that. I've been spending alot of time with Shannon and I'm very happy about that as well . I'm pretty sure I lost a few friends during this past week. All I was trying to do was be happy, and do the right thing. I am fine with my decision so I am not going to lose sleep over it..it just drama I don't need. I don't really know what else to put in this...Idk I write more later if I remember to.. -Peace | | |
| I'm sick ..and I will admitt I miss school alot. I have been out since monday and won't be able to return til next tuesday. But..Home Tator has got all my assignments and I'm heading up to her house friday night to pick everything up. Everything has been going good latley...which is a big change because for awhile...I wasn't sure how I was going to make it from day to day. Sam and I have broken up, I do believe it was the 26th of Aug. So when this is dated for my post it will be the 14th...which was suppose to be our 3 months together . So wierd how we talked about how excited we were, now I see the date and can't believe it,I'm just like  ( I think that smiley sums it up lol) but just got to keep on going. My friends keep pushing me to get with other chicks..to jump right into something which as you can see from the smiley..pisses me off. I spent just over a year looking for the right person to date, and I thought I did meet her, and now..after I put my all into that relationship, more than with my ex Tiff..(and that is alot),...I need time to "regroup" myself so to say. It's not stopping me though from doing anything or having fun. I went to a club last weekend, I had fun . Tammie, Julie, Amber, Rosanna, Brandie, Michelle and I all went together, so it was a good time to say the least. I've been going out like every weekend but I think I'm gonna sit this one out mainly because I'm sick and don't feel up to par. I was handed a drink the other weekend..I looked down at it in my hand..and for the first time since May..I didn't want to drink it . I thought about how long it took me to get where I'm at with out it, and how hard it was with the break-downs and the with-drawls from it. It's crazy thinking of how somthing like alcohol can have a grib on you. I use to get so upset and want to cry then another min. be so fucking angery and want to tear shit up when I got the urge/with drawl, and it was and still is the hardest fight I'm dealing with. I felt so ashamed though of myself just holding it in my hand because I promised Sam that I wouldn't do it anymore. But I did. It takes a strong person to break habits from alcohol, drugs or anything that can have a physical or mental addiction. I still am not over my addiction, but I'm trying, and I can thank her for giving me that push through the first part of this war I am battling..and no one will understand but for the ones going through it themselves, and those who I rely on when I need help from the urges..which was Sam mostly because I don't get them all that bad anymore so she knows but I know she didn't uderstand the full effect. I do blame it though alot for when I got edgy about things..the smallest shit I would bitch a fit about and I doubt she knew that because I was in denial and didn't realize what I was going through, no reason at all I would bitch up a storm about nothing, nothing that needed to be fought about or made a big deal of. I wish she would of knew that. It's wierd how everything comes into picture only after you did it/went through it. But it's almost 1:30 a.m., I'm tired and feeling like crap. An it's the 14th...not my fav. day anymore...so instead of staying up all night, thinking about it..my ass is heading up to bed. -Peace | | |
| This is the cutest thing I have ever read:
Someone out there is meant to be the love of your life, your best friend, your soulmate. The one you can tell your dreams to. She'll brush the hair out of your eyes and send you flowers when you least expect it. She wants to protect you from everything that is bad in the world and make sure you're never hurt. She's the girl you can run to in tears with makeup running down your face and the first words out of her mouth are "whos ass am i kicking?" She'll hold you when you cry and tickle you to make you smile. She'll stay up with you and hold your hair back when you're sick and let you sleep in when you're hungover. She wants to hear your hopes and dreams and truely wants to help you achieve them. She wants to kiss you in the rain and make love to you, not fuck. She'll look into your eyes and tell you that you're the most beautiful girl in the world. And for the first time in your life, youll believe it.
And that is love.
^that is so cute... | | |
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